I wish I could sit here and tell you that I’ve completely rediscovered myself outside of motherhood—that I’ve found the perfect balance between being a mom and being me. But the truth is, I haven’t. Not fully. Some days, I catch glimpses of my old self, and other days, I feel completely lost somewhere between sleepless nights, diaper changes, endless snack requests, house chore routines, and never-ending to-do lists. I started wondering: Who am I now?
This isn’t a story about “having it all figured out.” It’s not a step-by-step guide on how to reclaim your identity as a mom because, honestly, I’m still searching for those answers myself.
Instead, this is a story about searching, about allowing myself to admit that I feel lost, rather than pretending I have it all together. It’s about exploring the parts of me that still exist outside of motherhood, even if I don’t quite know how to nurture them yet. Most importantly, it’s about learning that I don’t have to go back to the person I was before, but rather, I can create a new version of myself, one step at a time.
If you’re feeling this way, too, if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondered where you went, I want you to know that you’re not alone. This is not the end of our story; this is just one chapter in an ongoing journey of growth, self-discovery, and evolution.
So, let’s figure this out together. One step at a time.
Why I Started This Space
Maybe this blog, this space, From One Mom to Another, is my way of finding myself again. Writing has always been how I process my thoughts. The way I untangle emotions that feel too big to carry alone. Putting words on a page helps me make sense of the constant evolution of motherhood, giving me a space to be honest, raw, and reflective. Through writing, I’m not just documenting my journey; I’m reclaiming a part of myself that I thought I had lost. I didn’t start this space because I had all the answers. In fact, I started it because I didn’t. Because I needed a place to process the complicated, sometimes conflicting emotions that come with motherhood—the love, the exhaustion, the fulfilment, the longing for something more.
I wanted to create something meaningful, not just for other moms but for me. I needed an outlet, a space where I could strip away the expectation of having it all together and just be real. A place where I could admit that some days, I feel like I’m thriving, and other days, I feel like I’m drowning. Somewhere between the endless diaper changes, meal preps, bedtime battles, and the invisible mental load that comes with being a mom, I started to feel like my identity was slipping away. I kept waiting for the moment when I’d “figure it out,” when I’d suddenly wake up and feel like me again. But that moment never came. And then, I realized something. I can’t be the only one feeling this way, right?
How many other moms are quietly wondering who they are beyond motherhood? How many are longing for a conversation where they don’t have to pretend they have it all together? So, instead of waiting until I have it all figured out, I’ve decided to share my journey while I’m still in it. Because maybe, just maybe, the process of writing, reflecting, and connecting with other moms who feel the same way will be the thing that leads me back to myself.
Maybe this blog isn’t just about rediscovering who I was before motherhood. Maybe it’s about creating a new version of me. The one that embraces all the changes, the struggles, and the growth that motherhood brings. And if you’re on this journey, too, I hope this space reminds you that you’re not alone. You don’t have to wait until you have the perfect answer. That it’s okay to still be searching. Because sometimes, the act of sharing, the act of opening up, of being honest about the messy middle is what helps us find the pieces of ourselves we thought we had lost. So, let’s figure this out together. From one mom to another.
The Moments When I Realized I Feel Lost
It wasn’t one big, dramatic moment. It wasn’t a breakdown or a crisis. It was a series of small, quiet realizations. The ones that crept in when I least expected them.
Like the time I stood in the kitchen, reheating my coffee for the third, or maybe even the fifth time that morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the kitchen window. For a second, I just stared. My hair was in a messy bun, my eyes were tired, and my clothes were whatever was most comfortable for chasing a little one around. And I thought, when was the last time I got dressed just for me? When was the last time I looked in the mirror and recognized the person looking back?
Or the night I scrolled through old photos, pictures of myself before motherhood. I saw a woman who laughed freely, who had spontaneous nights out with friends. A woman who had goals and dreams that weren’t tied to grocery lists, nap schedules, or meal prepping. And suddenly, I felt this strange sense of longing. Not necessarily to go back in time but to remember what it felt like to be her.
Then there were the little moments, the ones that happened in between the chaos of motherhood.
Sitting in the car alone after a long day, just to steal a few extra minutes of silence before going back inside the house. I felt a twinge of jealousy when I saw someone pursuing their passion, not because I wasn’t happy for them, but because I couldn’t remember the last time I poured into something just for me. Catching myself automatically saying “I don’t know” when someone asked what my hobbies were. Somewhere along the way, I stopped having an answer.
Motherhood is a beautiful, consuming, life-changing journey. But in the midst of loving and caring for my child, I started to wonder:
Who am I outside of this role?
If I took away the title of ‘Mom,’ what would be left?
What do I love?
What excites me?
Somewhere along the way, I had poured so much of myself into motherhood that I wasn’t sure what parts of me still remained. And the scariest part? I wasn’t sure how to find them again.
I love being a mom; I truly do. But I’ve come to realize that loving motherhood doesn’t mean I have to lose myself in it. But I’ve realized that loving motherhood doesn’t mean I have to lose myself in it. And if I have, maybe it’s time to start searching again, not for who I was before, but for who I am becoming.
Maybe you’ve felt this, too. Maybe you’ve had those quiet, unexpected moments when you realized you don’t feel like you anymore. If you have, I just want you to know that You Are Not Alone.
And maybe, together, we can start finding ourselves again. One small moment at a time.
The Small Steps I’m Taking to Reconnect With Myself
I don’t have all the answers, but I know one thing: I don’t want to feel lost forever.
So, I’m starting small. Here are a few things I’m doing (or trying to do) to reconnect with the person I was before motherhood while embracing the person I’m becoming now:
Writing Again.
Even if it’s just blog posts like this, journaling before bed, or scribbling down random thoughts throughout the day. Writing has always been my thing, and I’m reclaiming it.
Finding Joy in the Little Things.
A quiet cup of coffee in the morning, a quick walk at the park, and playing my favorite playlist while in the kitchen. These tiny moments of happiness remind me that I exist beyond my responsibilities.
Giving Myself Permission.
Permission to rest. Permission to dream. Permission to want something for myself, not just for my family.
Letting Go of Guilt.
I’m reminding myself that prioritizing my identity outside of motherhood doesn’t mean I love my child any less. It’s not a perfect process, but it’s a start.
Maybe We’re Meant to Evolve, Not Go Back
I used to think the goal was to “get back” to the person I was before motherhood. I remember catching myself scrolling through old photos, seeing a version of me that felt so different—carefree, spontaneous, with dreams that stretched far beyond nap schedules and grocery lists. For a long time, I thought the key was finding my way back to her. But maybe that’s not the point. Maybe we’re not supposed to go back. Maybe we’re meant to evolve into a new version of ourselves—one that blends who we were before with who we are becoming.
So, if you feel lost in motherhood, just know that I’m right there with you. And maybe we don’t have to have all the answers right now. Maybe the simple act of exploring who we are—bit by bit—is enough.
The Journey is Ongoing, and That’s Okay
I used to think that one day, I’d wake up and suddenly feel like myself again—that I’d have a clear answer to who I am beyond motherhood. That I’d find the perfect balance between being a mom and being me, and everything would just click.
But I’ve come to realize that rediscovering myself isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing journey. And that journey isn’t always linear. Some days, I feel like I’ve made progress. I do something just for me, and it fills me up in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I feel more connected to myself, more whole, more like me. Then, there are days when I feel lost again, days when the weight of responsibilities takes over, when I pour everything into my child and leave nothing for myself.
But the difference now? I no longer believe that feeling lost means I’m failing. I’ve learned that losing myself sometimes doesn’t mean I’ve disappeared—it just means I’m in the process of becoming. Motherhood isn’t a role that replaces who I am; it’s an experience that shapes me. And just like my child is growing and evolving, so am I.
I don’t have all the answers yet. I’m still figuring out how to balance nurturing my child and nurturing myself. I’m still unlearning the guilt of putting myself first sometimes. I’m still reminding myself that my dreams and desires are not selfish.
But I do know this:
✨ I deserve to exist beyond my responsibilities.
✨ I deserve to chase the things that make me feel alive.
✨ And I don’t have to wait until my child is older to start prioritizing myself again.
So, I’m taking small steps.
I’m making space. I’m permitting myself to be more.
Some days, those steps will be small—choosing to drink my coffee in peace, taking ten minutes to read a book, or allowing myself to dream about what I want for my future. On other days, those steps might be bigger—picking up an old passion, investing in something that brings me joy, or saying yes to an opportunity that excites me. And if you’re feeling lost, I hope you’ll start taking small steps too. Because we don’t have to choose between being great moms and being ourselves. We can be both. And we deserve to be.
The Moment I Realized I Had Let Go of Something I Loved
The other day, I found an old scrapbook tucked away on a shelf, covered in a thin layer of dust. As I flipped through the pages, I was instantly transported back to a version of myself that felt so familiar—yet so distant.
Before motherhood, and even in the early months after having my first child, scrapbooking was my thing. It was my creative escape, my way of slowing down time, of capturing memories in a way that felt deeply personal. I would sit for hours surrounded by paper, stickers, and embellishments, piecing together moments and stories. I’d get lost in the process, feeling completely at peace, my favorite playlist filling the room, my worries melting away with every page I created.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped.
At first, it was because of time—I told myself I’d get back to it when things settled down. But as the days turned into months and the months into years, I realized I had slowly let go of something that once brought me so much joy. Not because I stopped loving it, but because, in the constant rush of motherhood, I had unconsciously convinced myself that my time belonged to everyone else. I stared at that old scrapbook, flipping through the pages filled with memories, and I felt a wave of emotions—nostalgia, sadness, longing. But also hope.
Because maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to let go of that part of me forever.
Maybe I won’t have entire afternoons to dedicate to scrapbooking like I once did. Maybe I won’t have the uninterrupted creative flow that I used to. But maybe I can find small ways to bring it back—to carve out little moments of creativity, even if it’s just one page at a time.
And maybe, in doing so, I’ll reconnect with a part of myself that’s been waiting for me all along.
💛 Let’s Talk, Mom to Mom
Motherhood can sometimes feel isolating, but sharing our experiences helps us feel seen and supported. You’re not alone in this journey.
Have you ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in motherhood? Maybe you’ve had those quiet moments of reflection where you wonder, Who am I beyond being “Mom”? If you have, you’re not alone—I’m right there with you.
But here’s the thing: We don’t have to figure it out alone.
I’d love to hear from you—what small steps have you taken to reconnect with yourself? What’s one thing that makes you feel more like you again? Maybe it’s picking up an old hobby, setting aside time for self-care, or simply allowing yourself to dream about the future.
Drop your thoughts in the comments! Let’s share, support, and encourage each other. Motherhood isn’t just about raising little ones—it’s about growing together. 💛 One mom to another.
